It's a year today that I was flying back from Hong Kong after my China Trip. It seems a long time ago.
I had the day off today because the electricians were here. I spent the morning ferrying back and forth from the tip, and recycling plant getting rid of packaging from the garage. trying to get straight. And, as the car stereo isn't working, I had lots of time to reflect.
I was thinking how different this month has been to April last year. Last year I spent April giving out to the kids in Hengyang. This year I was very much focused on me and my family. It's not a bad thing you understand. There are times when we can focus outward and time when we focus inward. And I have changed so much since my China trip. I'm much more confident that I was. Anyone who knew me pre-97 and my horrendous first year teaching will know how much I lost my confidence. I find it hard to remember some things which happened around that time in my life. But, I had got very cocky as I'd gone through Uni. so, I'm a more careful, inward looking person that I was then. Although we have spent the last month spending loads of money on our house. My new job has meant that I still get to serve the kids in China. It's just sat a desk in Morpeth.
It seems to me that regret and wishful thinking can lead us to forget the good things we've got, to miss the enjoyment of the moment, and to waste the precious time we have. Claire and I decided last year that we'd get back to the way we were pre-kids, in that if an opportunity arose we'd go for it. china was one such time. Other things have been smaller but enjoyable all the same (Seeing Ben folds, I've got a ticket to see a test match, a awful lot more laying in bed). It's the old Carpe deum thing. So seize the moment and keep an eye on the seasons. If it's time to chill then chill. If it's time to do something - do it with style.
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